I still recall the first time I came across a sorority TikTok dance video in August a few years back. Dozens of girls were dressed up to match the “puppy eyes” theme, dancing to "The Sweet Escape" by Gwen Stefani in front of an exquisitely decorated house. Everybody wore a radiant smile as all the girls cheered each other on. At that moment, I was drawn to the sense of belonging they seemed to share, and I thought, I wanna be a part of whatever that is.
But the video showed me what belonging looks like only from the outside. It left me wondering what partaking in “sisterhood” would demand of me and what I might be expected to tolerate to remain part of it.
I would have never expected to gain my answer from a recent lawsuit against Cornell University filed by a former student, with the pseudonym “Jane Doe,” a report that accuses seven members of the Chi Phi fraternity of an alleged drug-facilitated gang rape in October 2024 and the university of failing to respond properly.
Doe, then a 20-year-old Cornell University student, lived in the Tri-Delta sorority house. Doe alleges that, on the night of October 19 and the morning of October 20, 2024, she consumed an excessive amount of alcohol, and seven Chi Phi members pressured her into using drugs such as ketamine and then sexually assaulted her after she became incapacitated.
After Doe had been under heavy influence of substances, a message was sent into the Snapchat group chat titled “Chi Phi Actives”: “Free p***y in alum pu.” The publicly reported messages show an invitation to participate, with no indication that anyone in the nearly 60-member group chat challenged its dehumanizing language. Using The New York Times guest writer Jennifer Weiner’s words, the texts “offered up a woman like a used futon on Facebook Marketplace.”
As if the case itself were not disturbing enough, other details of the incident raised more troubling questions about how the fraternity responded when Doe sought answers. According to ABC News’s reporting on university records, a friend of Doe’s described some members’ efforts to maintain contact with her as “damage control,” intending to keep her on their good side. In a recorded phone call, Doe asked one of the seven men she accused, Matthew Ingalls, how many men had entered the room. He attributed their presence to an unlocked door and a crowded party without mentioning the texts he had allegedly sent. These exchanges between Doe and the fraternity members reveal a troubling understanding of what “brotherhood” truly means, in which protecting the reputation of members apparently takes precedence over confronting their conduct.
The promise of brotherhood and sisterhood becomes contradictory when loyalty is defined by what a brother or sister is willing to overlook. When college Greek life is built on the values of friendship it takes pride in—acceptance, community, and mutual support—the communities within the lifestyle should allow, and in fact encourage, members to question one another, especially when someone reports harm. When challenging a member’s behavior threatens one’s own standing in the community, however, belonging seems to rely on compliance.
The pressure to prove loyalty through compliance becomes visible in recent hazing cases in college fraternities. At the University of Arizona, the Sigma Tau Gamma fraternity was suspended last month due to a hazing incident that took place in the fall semester of 2025. According to the university’s senior student rights and responsibilities coordinator, Jasmin Hayes, older members forced new members of the fraternity “to consume large quantities of alcohol and live goldfish.”
Such practices exploit the desire for acceptance that draws students into Greek life. Entering a completely new environment, prospective members may feel overwhelmed and seek a fraternity or sorority to make friends, yet they may also endure humiliation from those who seek to decide whether or not they belong. In such circumstances, refusing may seem like forfeiting a community that could offer more benefits. Then, undergoing mistreatment becomes sugarcoated as “demonstrating commitment” while the perpetrators completely strip one of one’s boundaries.
Hazing and the alleged sexual assault at Cornell indeed involve different terms. Nevertheless, both incidents stem from a common issue: a power imbalance exists when acceptance into a group relies on compliance. Under these conditions, other students may not be able to reject an initiation demand or question a member’s behavior. Brotherhood and sisterhood should give one the confidence to confront others and be one’s true self, whereas treating criticism as betrayal disguises avoiding accountability as loyalty.
The Cornell allegations have yet to prove themselves in court, but the Chi Phi members’ repeated efforts at “damage control” themselves deserve scrutiny regardless of the eventual legal outcome. A brotherhood worthy of the name would have supported Doe and demanded honesty from its members rather than resort to “damage control” to protect its reputation.
Greek life may indeed offer a student meaningful friendships. Regardless, to protect their community's well-being, colleges and universities should require clear protections against retaliation and enforce prohibitions on hazing. Solidarity must leave room to challenge the group, and require the group to listen, without demanding submission.