Today, “nonchalant” is used to describe a person’s outwardly indifferent reaction to a wide variety of things. “Nonchalant” is defined by the Oxford English Dictionary as follows: “feeling or appearing casually calm and relaxed; not displaying anxiety, interest, or enthusiasm.” The word’s rampant usage, especially among adolescents, reflects a similar prevalence of the behavior it details. Indeed, at Milton, I’ve noticed that students refrain from exhibiting “chalant” behaviors—“anxiety, interest, and enthusiasm”—in their academics, relationships, and athletics. Though masked under a social media trend, nonchalant behavior, I’d argue, does not serve us in any of these three domains.
As we come out of exam season and into Semester 2—the colloquially promised “redemption arc”—exam anxiety remains fresh in our heads. As a freshman, even though my grades don’t really count I was still extremely anxious; I can only imagine the pressure that sophomores, juniors, and seniors must face. However, externally, students around me seemed reluctant to voice their stress. Indeed, Anders Yu ‘28 expressed that there were times he had said that he didn’t care about his grades when he actually did. “I didn’t want to seem like the kind of person to my friends that seemed like they cared about their grades so much, partially due to Milton’s stressful environment,” he said. Social response remains a key incentive in this nonchalant behavior, but this stigma surrounding grades—whether used genuinely or as a coping mechanism for oneself—could have negative long-term effects on your mental health, the energy you put into academics, and the grades you ultimately receive. According to a 2012 study by researchers from the University of California, Los Angeles and New York University, stigma can impede academic performance among students of all ages. When we dismiss our performance, we also dismiss our own academic accountability and neglect the growth we should retrieve from an exam or another learning experience. So, this preconceived idea that it's better to be “nonchalant” about your academic results shouldn’t become a pattern. That being said, caring about your grades isn’t something to be ashamed of; pretending not to care robs you of the chance to learn and move forward with clarity.
Nonchalance has appeared within relationships as well, manifesting in hook-up culture, situationships, and the overall “casual” front when we enter romantic relationships. Studies from the University of Rochester (2020) and Psych Open Journals (2013) show that playing “hard to get” can increase one’s attractiveness, confirming that this circumstance has become socially accepted and even rewarded. While not directly causal, I believe that in any case, whether responsible for the singleness and loneliness epidemic, nonchalance as a whole should be largely abandoned. In and of itself, nonchalance denounces even caring about another person, let alone showing interest or enthusiasm in spending time with them. Dating requires a lot of risk, and if nobody ever takes a risk because it might seem like they care too much, then relationships will largely cease to form. This behaviour discourages the value that relationships have.
Finally, nonchalance is common in the sports realm. After a shot, a goal, or a point, you aren’t supposed to celebrate, cheer, or sometimes even smile. “Instead of celebrating immediately, you want to keep cool, calm, and collected for the next point and move on with that,” said Adair Johnson ‘27, who plays tennis. She then mentioned Jannik Sinner, an Italian professional tennis player who had been ranked No. 1 by the Association of Tennis Professionals. “Jannik has a big presence because of his nonchalance. People respect him for that,” she said. However, it’s better to have a celebration ready, or to just run back to your position, ready for the rest of the game. I play on the Girls JV basketball team, and when I made my first couple three-pointers of the season, I was super excited, considering I hadn’t played for 6 years. For me, when others are nonchalant, it seems as if they don’t value their shot—or any shot—at all, and I’ve seen some people in other games not reciprocate high-fives or other congratulations for their wins. Though I don’t think athletes need to start jumping up and down or have a choreographed dance every time you make a lay-up, we should still embrace our wins—large and small—in athletics.
Through academics, relationships, and sports, we can see the negative effects of having, or at least pretending to have, zero care about anything you do. I believe that nonchalance is usually superficial and that it is not actual disinterest. This outward portrayal is unnatural, often distorting how people communicate care and vulnerability. Now, are there any solutions to this anti-caring epidemic? We can only hope it is a cultural pattern that will come and go, as do other trends. Ultimately, caring and having emotions are the very things that make us human and allow us to move on, grow, and improve.